Wearing pajamas to class shows lazy tendencies of students

February 27, 2006 —

It seems like every generation is told that they are lazier than their predecessors. Normally, it is easy to shake this off as simply a rite of passage used to inspire more effort in our lives. Yet for all their rhetoric, I think our parents may be on to something.

Our parents had to dress to at least a minimum level of decorum to be considered socially acceptable. That meant brushing one's hair (or wearing a hat instead), throwing on a pear of jeans, and exercising basic hygiene practices. Real rough stuff. The stuff I would hope my generation could at least try to emulate. And, like most of the time, my generation disappoints me again.

Maybe it's just the social malcontent within me, but I think I lost total faith in my generation when I saw a gaggle of students walking across campus wearing pajama pants, looking as if their collective bed head was harboring several small species of rodents. I may have shrugged this off on the way to an 8:30 class, but on the way to my 2:30 class, a part of me died inside.

Someone please tell me - when did pajamas become acceptable to wear in public? Personally, I blame the TV show "Bananas in Pajamas" that was a part of our youth. While I don't think there's any conclusive research into the subject, I'd bet that a strong correlation exists between wearing pajamas in public at age 20 and purchasing supersize boxes of macaroni and cheese for your six kids at age 30. Not the Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, mind you, but the store brand industrial strength kind that contains more rat hair than actual nutritional content.

Ok, so maybe getting along in society isn't your cup of tea. But I know this much - I sure wouldn't date anyone who wore pajamas around in public. Pajamas are just the first step in a cycle of laziness; maybe one day you'll skip classes to watch your stories, the next day you'll stop shaving your legs, and a week later, I'm dating a female Yogi Bear.

I cannot even fathom wearing pajamas in public. Just thinking about it leads me to feel a slap up against the backside of my head. I would hope most college students would have similar reactions, if not from their parents, then at least from societal norms and acceptable standards. In the memorable episode of Seinfeld, "The Pilot," Jerry tells George, "You know the message you're sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You're telling the world, 'I give up. I can't compete in normal society. I'm miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.'" College is not normal society, but I am pretty sure one of its goals is to train you to work in normal society.

No one is saying you have to wear a suit or skirt to classes. Yet I find it alarming that wearing a baseball hat, hooded sweatshirt, and jeans would likely make me the most dressed up person in several classes. Yes, the First Amendment says you can wear what you want, but I'm not sure the Founding Fathers intended it to be a subterfuge for laziness. I mean I suppose it is possible - perhaps Thomas Jefferson wanted nothing more than to frolic through the gardens of Monticello in his woolen pajamas, admiring his slaves' toils and troubles. Instead, though, he took on the decidedly less comfortable task of building our nation from the ground up.

Flash forward to 2006 - how does the rest of the world view us? Are we content to lie around in pajamas as other nations usurp our global standing? Once upon a time, America rose to become the world leader through innovation, resolve, and hard work. Now look at us. My grandfathers, who served in World War II and Korea, would roll over in their graves if they saw me wearing pajamas as I settled down for a nice 1 p.m. nap in my intro-level history class.

My gut tells me most of the pajama culprits live on campus. So let me word this in ways even the most towheaded freshman can understand. By hitting snooze one less time, you lose nine minutes of sleep. By that time, you will already have been awakened from the productive stage of sleep. In the context of those nine minutes, I guarantee you can throw on a sweatshirt, a pair of jeans, and a hat.

Maybe it's our generation's version of the American Dream to dress as if moving to the trailer park would be a step up. But the second we aim for goals regressively lower than that of our parents, society gets a leg kicked out from under it. It might not topple, but it sure won't be stable either.